This is the second week of Priceless Joy’s challenge, Flash Fiction for for Aspiring Writers. The challenge asks us to write a piece of fiction from the photo prompt provided in around 100- 150 words. It encourages participants to comment, constructively, on other entries, so supporting each other’s writing. If you’d like to join in with this challenge, follow the link in the title of PJ’s, blog: Beautiful Words. The challenge runs from Wednesday to Wednesday every week.
Here is this week’s photo, copyright Dawn Miller . . .
and this is my story . . .
’Deuce.’
David Jameson was sweating now. Two more points to his opponent and he could kiss the Regional Cup goodbye. Already two sets down, David served to save the match …
The ball bounced hard: a perfect ace.
‘Advantage Jameson,’ the umpire droned above the spectators’ gasps. David served again.
Another ace brought further gasps.
‘Game and third set, Jameson.’ The words were music to David’s ears. His smug-faced opponent was older, more experienced – had taken the Cup for as long as David could remember. This year it was his turn. He just needed to stay focused …
After some long rallies, superb lobs and backhand smashes over the next two sets, David emerged victorious.
‘Game, set and match, David Jameson,’ the umpire intoned as David’s opponent leapt the net to congratulate him.
‘Cup’s yours, son,’ Mike Jameson said, pride evident in his eyes. ‘Until next year …’
Word Count: 148
If you’d like to view other entries, click here.
Wow – perfect Millie! You obviously know a lot about tennis (I don’t). This story was great!
I used to play quite a lot in my teaching days, but only for fun! It’s just such a great sport on a summer’s day. Thank PJ. I’ll really try to do it earlier next week. 🙂
No problem Millie – I’m just glad you joined us. 😀
Awesome 🙂
Thank you so much! That’s a really ‘awesome’ comment! 🙂
Hahaha… I used to work in tennis…
I can well imagine you doing that. You’re really into fitness training. I was much the same when I was younger. I still like to keep myself fit – and I’m positively ancient now! Good job i can laugh about it. 🙂
Haha… lets keep it up!
Sport being the competitive animal it is Millie there is always the glory of victory until the next challenge emerges. Lovely piece of writing.
I agree. Becoming a ‘champion’ is a very temporary thing. Thank you so much for the nice comment, Tommy. (One of my sons is a Thomas – and always gets called Tommy. He was named after my dad – another Thomas/Tommy.) 🙂
My dad my Tommy. I’m Michael
Oh, I’m really sorry to have made that mistake. I should have checked before diving in – as I always do! Well, it’s good to meet you, Michael. I’ll remember in future. 🙂
What a nice story about determination and how it’s not as hard to get the top as it is to stay at the top. I thought you did a good job of building the story as well.
Thank you so much for the lovely comment. 🙂
I love the end when the son wins but next year he is going to compete again against his dad. Well written.
Yes, it will be another tough contest next year, I think. David will just have to keep training. Thank you for liking it, Scrapydotwo. 🙂
Very well written. The pace is great, and it kept me wondering what was going to happen next. I agree with married2arod that it shows where determination can lead you.
Determination’s a big thing in the pursuit of anything. As writers, I think we all share that determination to succeed. Thank you for the nice comment, Francesca. 🙂
I love the prompt for this challnege and your brief story is great… The last sentence is absolutely conclusive…All the best to you. Aquileana 😎
Thank you, Aquileana, for that lovely comment. I do appreciate it. 🙂
Your last lines always make me smile… 🙂
Another amazing fiction’s dose! I love reading your stories ❤
On a side note, I've started writing from today, so hopefully I'll participate in this… 🙂
Thank you! I enjoy writing these little things, too. 🙂
Wonderfully crafted Millie. I really enjoyed this. 🙂
Thank you for that nice comment, Sam. 🙂
“His smug-faced opponent was older, more experienced – had taken the Cup for as long as David could remember.” Brilliant how you set up the revelation with that line. The rivalry is great, I bet these two will be at it year after year…
That’s what I think, Sonya. Both are just too darned competetive for their own good, Thank you for liking it! 🙂
Nice piece Millie. You know what I liked a lot? The dichotomy you set up between the pace and action of the tennis, and the umpire who seems half-interested at best. It really made the tension between the players greater, having an “intoning” ump as a foil to their frenzy.
I think that happens in a lot of real tennis matches. The monotone voices of umpires often seem at odds with the action. Still, I suppose it’s better than the ridiculous hysterics of some soccer commentators on TV. Thank you for the nice comment, Mara. 🙂
Not a big fan of tennis, but your lovely story got me interested 😉 Well done Millie! 🙂
Well, we can’t all like the same sports, can we? I haven’t played myself for a while – I tend to stick to swimming and long walks nowadays. I’m glad you liked the story, though, Khloe. 🙂
haha yes, you’re right. We just can’t all like the same sports. Swimming and long walks are good. I’m pretty much stick to yoga these days 😛
I know – and you’re brilliant at it! I wish I’d taken it up years ago. 🙂
Aww thank you Millie (blushing right now)! haha it’s all good…At least you know how to swim when I don’t 😛
I don’t know much about tennis either. I like how you wrote about it, that was a fun read.
This was written by a tennis player. 😉 Nice work.