Take My Hand – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is a flash fiction challenge which asks that we write a story in no more than 100 words from the photo prompt kindly provided by the host, Rochelle Wisoff Fields. To join in with the challenge, or find out more about it, just follow the link on the challenge title above.

Here is this week’s prompt, copyright Jennifer Pendergast . . .

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

and this is my story . . .

‘Take my hand,’ you say. ‘Come with me on a journey to the stars. We could reach the ends of the Universe, you and I; wonder at things hitherto unseen. No boundaries to hold us back.’

I smile up at your handsome face; the fire that burns in your eyes. You want me, it’s clear, though you hardly know me at all.

You reach out your hand, unfurl your fingers in a gesture of love. I recoil from the small white package so tenderly cradled mere moments ago. I shake my head and turn away from your proffered hand.

Word Count: 99

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If you’d like to read other entries, click on the little blue fellow below:

82 thoughts on “Take My Hand – Friday Fictioneers

  1. I was reading your story, and then the last sentence hit me like a brick. Like the way you build up the story to the last sentence. That last sentence told it all. Good job!

    1. Thank you for that great comment, Rachel. I wondered whether this story might be a bit too far ‘outside the box’. I just became fixated by the couplings – connections and reaching out to each other and so on. I’m glad it worked for you. 🙂

      1. The white package was meant to be some kind of drug – some hallucinogenic one. I hoped to infer that in the opening couple of sentences about journeying to the stars. (I had the Beattles’ old song in my head here – ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’ – which was always understood to mean going on a ‘trip’.) Ah, well, I know people will interpret things in their own way and. as long as they can get something from the story, I’ll be happy. Thanks for asking, Rachel. 🙂

  2. She was wise enough not to go with him. I imagine she has a better without him. Possibly finding someone way better than him 😛 You did a brilliant job on writing this amazing story in 99 words only Millie! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    1. Thank you for the lovely comment, Khloe. I definitely think the young woman in my story could find someone much better than a drug user/pusher. I know that wasn’t clear to everyone, so if you interpreted the story differently, that’s fine. 🙂

      1. You’re welcome sweetie 😉 Thank you very much for explaining the story to me! 😉 As you know English isn’t my first language, so it’s always good when you explain it to me 😛

    1. Thank you so much, Carina. 🙂 I’m beginning to think I should have made that little white packet a bit clearer. I had intended it to be some kind of drugs – one that induced hallucinations. I’d hoped the reference to the journey to the stars would fit in with that. The young woman recoiling from it was intended to show her repugnance at the idea. I suppose, as it stands, it could be interpreted as something quite innocent. 🙂

    1. The point of the story lies in the little white packet of drugs. I’d like to think she’d never be ready for those. But I do realise the story could be interpreted differently.

  3. A very well written story, and I think this line “unfurl your fingers in a gesture of love”, is wonderful.

  4. A clever story, Millie, and very well written. You had me thinking it was a story about burning passion and it ended up being something far more sordid. I’m glad she was wise enough to reject his offer.

    1. Thank you for that lovely comment, Joycelin. It was one of those stories that was interpreted differently by several people. The white package wasn’t automatically seen as I had intended, but that’s OK. Flash fiction is like that. 🙂

  5. Reminds me of a boyfriend I had years ago who tried to convince me to take heroin.

    I like the first ‘jar’ where something seems odd… where he wants her but hardly knows her. If that wasn’t there I think the twist wouldn’t work but it’s a fitting segway (sp??). Not easy, 100 words. It must be very satisfying to get it right!

    1. Thank you Tink.It is a big challenge to write a story in 100 words, but definitely satisfying when you manage it! I’m not sure what segway means, but perhaps you were thinking os segue – which means continuation, I think? I’ll have to look both words up!
      I hope your writing is progressing well and you’re getting closer to sending work off to a publisher. It’s probably best to aim for the traditional route – much more satisfying, in the end.

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