It’s the day for Rochelle Risoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers flash fiction challenge. This asks that we produce a piece of writing in 100 words. It’s definitely a challenge to write a story in so few words – but also great fun.
Well, here is this Friday’s photo . . .
. . . and this is my offering:
The customer moseyed alongside the old barge, eyeing her with disdain. ‘Yer sure this tub still floats?’ He scratched his head, mumbling. ‘It’s nowt but a pile of old junk. ’Ow much?’
‘Had an offer, ‘alf hour ago. Twenty grand.’
The expletives meant little to Archie. He’d rather keep Rosie than sell her to someone like that. A lick of red paint and she’d look good again. Young. They’d sail the Canals and remember the first Rosie, the Gypsy girl he’d loved for so long. She’d still be waiting for him; up there. A year, tops, the doctors said.
Word count: 100
Millie Thom 
A sad prognosis but a grand story.
DJ
Yes, it was a sad ending. I really must write a happy one next time! Thank you for the ‘grand’ praise, Danny. I like playing around with dialects.
Superb—Valuable—Well-finessed…
I’m truly grateful for that awesome praise, Alexander. Thank you so much.
hahaha! loved this one because i started cursing after i read “20 grand”. so Archie definitely wouldn’t sell his boat to me either:) better to live out his remaining year with his 2 Rosies…
Thank you! I’d have loved to hear yor cursing. Archie definitely wouldn’t have sold Rosie to you! I’m glad you enjoyed reading it, anyway. I didn’t intend to make you curse . . . honest!
Your sure can tell a story in 100 words. I liked it.
I really enjoyed writing this story, Susan. I love the black and white picture of the old boat. It lends itself to so many story possibilities – as all photos do, I suppose. I’m really glad you liked my offering. 🙂
I hope they keep the boat so he can live out his memories during the time he has left.
I’ll have to find a way to use “mosey” more often 🙂
Yes, it’s a funny little word, mosey. It just seemed to fit the way I wanted the ‘customer’ to move. Thank you for your kind comment, Ali.
I love those accents!
I’m a Lancashire lass, Ashley so I grew up in an area where many folk dropped h’s and used the word ‘nowt’. I sometimes say nowt un all! Ha! I don’t have a broad accent though – it just comes out occasionally. My husband’s a Yorkshireman, and when he says ‘nowt’ it sounds like ‘note’. There are so many different dialects here in the UK. Thank you for liking the one I did!
Always love the creativity you have when it comes to writing! ❤ It's never easy to write a great story in 100 words, but you definitely nailed it!!! 😉 Good job Millie! 🙂
Thank you for that lovely compliment, Khloe. I’ll have to be a good girl now and try to live up to it! 🙂
You’re more than welcome Millie! 🙂 hahaha Good to see a good girl around creating fascinating stories for us 😉
One hundred words that tell a sad yet uplifting story. Well done!
Thank you for the lovely compliment. I really appreciate it, especially coming from someone with such credentials as you!
You are so welcome. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
I will certainly look forward to reading more of yours. Thank you, again.
Dear Millie,
The dialect really added to your story. Well told in a few well chosen words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, Rochelle. That means a lot to me, coming from you!
beautiful but sad…
Yes, it is a sad ending. I’ll have to try to write a happier one next time! Ha! Thank you for commenting, Mira.
Loved the dialect…
I love regional dialects, too, and we certainly have enough to choose from in the UK. The ‘Geordies’, from the north -east of England, can be very difficult to understand – even by other English people at times! I used a generally northern dialect, from around Lancashire and Yorkshire. I ‘m partial to the word ‘nowt’! Thank you, again.
Thats nice…should learn more about it…
I am gob-smacked, yes, gob-smacked at the way you have conveyed so much in so few words and entertaining as well. How do you do it, week after week? I feel I know the character well and have a great mental image, even though I have very little information to go on. The dialects definitely added to it, as the character developed a voice in my head, and the sad tale alluded to, pulled at my heartstrings. This is the complete Flash fiction package. Can’t wait for next Friday.
Now I’m gob-smacked at your wonderful praise! Thank you doesn’t seem enough after you’ve said all that – but thank you so much, anyway. 🙂 (This is me right now)
All well deserved, Millie!!!
rosie’s worth
every
word 🙂
That is a lovely comment, Smilecam. Thank you so much for making it!
Dear Millie, Love your story and I love your name – Too cool! Wonderful dialect you penned. Nan 🙂
Dialects are something I’m working on. The North of England ones are far easier for me than the southern ones, simply because I’m a Lancashire lass (the land of old cotton mills and wooden clogs!). I’d have to work a lot harder on the Cockney dialect, with all its rhyming slang. And if I ever wrote anything set in the U.S.A.’s Deep South, I’d be
struggling! Thank you for the lovely comment, Nan. (Both my mum and grandma were called Millie. Mine’s just a pen name . . . but don’t tell anybody! Haha!)
Beautiful. I think the ending is uplifting, even though it’s all about love lost and death. This is a story of beauty, hope and love; not easy to write without sounding trite, but you have managed it well. I tried a 100 worded story once (and I will again!) but it was basically a plot outline. You’ve managed characterisation, story, setting, in so few words!
Yes, 100 words isn’t a lot to work on but, somehow, knowing that you have such a strict limit makes you think carefully about every word you write. So far, with these challenges, I’ve managed not to exceed the word limit by too much even before I’ve started to edit. I think it’s just an extra sharp pull on the reins. And interpreting the prompts is a fun way to let the imagination run wild. I’d encourage any writer to have a go simply for the practice in such skills. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Tink. I’m glad my meaning came across in the tale.
It’s not easy to draw people to your character in 100 words but you’ve managed it beautifully.
What a lovely comment. Penshift (Stephanie – if I may be so bold!). Such positive feedback is always wonderful to have. This is only my second ‘go’ at Friday Fictioneers, and I think I’ve still a lot to learn from the rest of you. I’m glad you liked my Archie.
You know the saying ‘everyone’s a critic.’ Sometimes the biggest critic is our own self. Friday Fictioneers is a very good way to practice writing and you never know, you may turn your flash fics into something longer. Real name or penname, doesn’t bother me either way. If I didn’t want it known I wouldn’t have attached the moniker to so many accounts. 😀
I’ll play it safe and stick to Penshift in future – perhaps best on theChallenges. I should have thought about that earlier. Thanks for getting back to me.
I’m so glad he’s going to keep her; he’ll have a wonderful year, I’m sure. I love how you’ve crafted this. It works in every way – mood, pace, character – all good, all very satisfying.
A lovely comment, Margaret. I wish Alfie a wonderful year, too. Thank you for liking my little story.
Everyone here has already said what I was going to say! Anyway, good work. 🙂
so talented… you’re the one 🙂
I’m glad you thought it was OK, Heath. And your lovely praise has made me grin.
The voice and dialect tells a story in itself. I think it brought extra light to the narrative. And why sell it if you don’t need the money.
I agreee with your last remark, Bjorn. Archie was only thinking of selling his boat in view of the prognosis regarding his life expectancy. The unfeeling ‘customer’ made him change his mind.
Looks like his memories mean more to him than the money he could get for the boat in the short time he has left. Well done, Millie. 🙂 — Suzanne
I think the boat was very precious to him and the customer was not at all pleasant. Thank you for liking my story, Suzanne.