Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers is a writing challenge hosted by Priceless Joy. It involves writing a piece of fiction from the given photo prompt in around 75-150 words – give or take 25 words. If you’d like to join in with the challenge, follow the above link to see what to do. The challenge runs from Tuesday to Tuesday every week.
Here is this week’s prompt, kindly provided by Jade.M. Wong
And this is my story:
A Secret Shared
The emir’s eyes narrowed against the dazzling glow of the diamond proffered on the palm held out before him; a jewel of such majesty it would stand preeminent in his collection. Muhammad’s wealth was as renowned as the might of his emirate.
And wealth had bought him that power.
Muhammad’s control was absolute: his executions struck terror in men’s hearts. Many attempted to gain his favour; only a few succeeded.
He pointed a long-nailed finger at the low-born cradling the diamond and curled it slowly back. ‘You found this gem in a cave, you say?’ he whispered, shielding his words from attendants’ ears.
‘Deep inside the cliffs, Eminence,’ Aasif whispered back, nodding. ‘Legends say countless more adorn the tunnels beyond, but my torch was burning low, so I ventured no further.’
Muhammad licked his greedy lips. ‘This cave’s whereabouts…?
Aasif duly replied and Muhammad gestured to his guards before whispering, ‘Reflect on the folly of sharing secrets with strangers before your execution at dawn. But be assured, Aasif, this secret is safe with me.’
Word Count: 174
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37 thoughts on “A Secret Shared – FFfAW”
Very atmospheric. I hope the emir meets a sticky end when he ventures into the cave himself!
Thanks, Iain. I’ve done a couple of nice, cosy stories lately, so I thought I’d have a change. Yes, the emir was a bad ‘un.
Wonderful story! Poor Aasif! He was only trying to win the emir’s favor. I am with Iain. I hope he meets a terrible end in the cave going after the other gems! I hope it is a setup! I loved this story Millie!
No, Aasif didn’t expect that in return for bringing the emir a fabulous gift. I simply wanted to show the emir’s greed and his disdain for the people he ruled over. All he wanted was wealth and power. Thanks PJ.
Evil depicted so well Milliethom! hope the nasty ruler meets some horrible things down that cave that will teach him to be nice. Always a moral in a story like this, greed never leads you to a happy end. Nicely done!
Thanks, Gina, that’s exactly what I wanted to show. With a few more words, I would have had the reason why Aasif didn’t venture further in the cave as being because something nasty was in there. I added a jinni to start with, but git rid of him to keep the word count down. I also wanted to show that money and beautiful jewels can so often incite the greed to rise in people. Sad, but true.
Spooky and just pure evil. The emir’s greed got the better of him when he saw that diamond – especially when he discovered there were plenty more where that one came from. Thanks, Dawn.
So evil!! I love the description, I could see the Emir in my mind as I read. Good work!
Thank you for that, Joy. I wanted to make the emir sound evil and as someone who cared for nothing but his own wealth and power. If you could visualise him as he was meeting Aasif, then I’m very happy.
I had a feeling Aasif’s days were numbered. Nice one 🙂
Yes, I think it’s just a bit obvious. Perhaps Aasif should have known better than to visit this ruler who delighted in executing people. I wouldn’t have gone within of him. Thanks, Ali. 🙂
Hmm something tells me his greed will meet its karmic downfall. Great writing, Millie!
Thank you, Jade. I think greed can bring about many people’s downfall. This emir deserves no pity if he meets a nasty end, either in the cave or from attack by his own people.
Great story! I think Aasif was doomed no matter what he said. Refuse to talk and he’d be tortured or killed. Talk and the ruler has no more use for him.
Aasif may be in serious trouble..he may disappear and no one will know how the diamond was discovered. Muhammad is a dangerous and greedy man and will let nothing stand in his way to gain more wealth and power. The people can only hope that he will meet his match one day and they will be rid of him.Great story of greed and power.
Thanks, Jessie. I think a few wicked rulers have met their ends at the hands of assassins. Unfortunately, many of the people who hire assassins are just as greedy for power themselves!
Oh I loved this story Millie.
I so hope the emir gets his due, he’s not very nice.
Thanks, Chioma. No, the emir isn’t very nice at all. I thought I’d look at the theme of weatlh (as typified by a fabulous jewel) being something that corrupts and makes people greedy for more. Perhaps I made the emir just a bit too greedy! Lol.
Nope I don’t think so.
He was well depicted.
I don’t like Aasif’s chances.
Nor do I, but I think the emir may well meet with an assassin’s knife before too long. Thanks, Fred!
oh dear, Millie! such a wonderfully embellished story of wealth and greed and poverty and need. good advice that was, too – for any of us.
The emir’s character is so well developed in these few words. His voice is disturbing from the start.
Thank you for that really nice comment, Ellespeth. I’m glad you picked out that the story was also about poverty, which I tried to show in the case of the ‘low-life’ Aasif – and the contempt with which poor people were treated by the evil emir.
Poor Aasif. A terrible lesson…. but also some sageful words for the rest of us. Great writing, Millie.
Thanks, Amanda. I’d really like to develop this story into something longer and have the emir get his comeuppance. I hope it works as it stands but I may well write a longer version for my next flash fiction book (if I ever finish my trilogy!) 🙂
I read Louise’s wonderful interpretation and yours is equally as wonderful. I love desert tales too in the style of Scheherazade!
Thank you, Cybele! I’m glad you liked it. I agree, desert stories are fascinating, especially those of Scheherazade. They’re so full of adventure and really set the imagination going.
What a mean Emir. I foresee a sad end for him.
Thanks, Jacqueline. I also see – and hope – for a sad end to this emir.
A beautiful story 🙂
Poor Aasif. By the dawn, he could be so far away if he walked in opposite direction.
Good writing! I write too but for now just started to blog about pregnancy. If i feel confident enoughthen should start sharing my writings… Inspired!!
If you want to write, the flash fiction challenges are a great place to start. I continue to do this one, even though I have books published on Amazon. It’s a lot of fun, and you’d get valuable feedback on your stories. There are lots of writing challenges on WP.
Thank you for liking my story, too! 🙂
He was definitely greedy and cruel – a deadly combo for his poor subjects. 😦
It reminded me of “The Arabian Nights”. The story had a lovely feel of mystery and curiosity. Lovely tale! 🙂
No, he wasn’t a good or kind ruler, and it probably won’t be long before someone assassinates him! I love ‘The Arabian Nights’ and the stories of Sheherazade, so I’m happy you thought my story was similar! Thanks, Norma. 🙂
Ohhhh this story drips thick with greed and selfishness of the ruler.. well written (and glad it’s fiction!)