It’s time again for the Friday Fictioneers, kindly hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This is a writing challenge which asks that we produce a piece of fiction in 100 words from the photo prompt given. If you’d like to contribute to this challenge, just follow the link through Rochelle’s blog to read the instructions and copy the photo.
Here is this week’s photo . . .
. . . and this is my story:
Abigail gazed across the lawn, a warm breeze rustling the gold-tipped leaves of the tall magnolia and nurturing her memories…
The veranda heaved with folks cooing over her newly-christened brother. Six-year-old Abigail fled to her room, tears streaming as her jealousy soared. Since Ethan’s birth, Daddy had taken his love away.
‘Where are you, Abigail?’ It was Daddy’s voice, down in the hall. He wanted her again.
‘Daddy!’ she cried, lowering her foot to the top stair…
It was a warm September day in 1886 when they buried her in the peaceful little cemetery.
But Abigail liked it better here.
Word Count: 100
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If you’d like to read other entries, click the little blue frog below:
Millie Thom 
Wow! I really like it! I wasn’t expecting it, but it was good. It is the kind of piece something more could be written from.
Thanks, Betty. I know it was sad, but I didn’t want to write anything too flippant this week. My Monday stories were a bit silly. I’m trying to be serious now! Haha. I’m glad you liked it, anyway. (I must cut down on these challenges soon, though. They’re great, but I need to spend more time on Book 3!). Take care. 🙂
Me, too. I need to spend more time on book 1! Btw, I’m getting a new website. It s/b set up within the week. http://www.BettyChathamHorn.com
There’s nothing on it yet, I think, but I’m getting together with my web designer and I think it’s going to be pretty cool.
Having your own web designer sounds very impressive, Betty. It sounds more than cool.
She’s a friend, but I’m still paying her for her services. She does awesome work.
Can I borrow her? Haha
Sure! Just give me the word and I can set you up.
I didn’t expect that ending. It gave me that goosebumpy feeling!
Yes, I can appreciate that. I know it’s a sad tale and the thought of a child ghost is rather creepy! Thank you for commenting, Michael. 🙂
The end took me by surprise. A lot said in a few visual words.
Thank you for commenting, Linda. I was hoping to keep the ghost idea until the very end, so it seems I managed that OK! 🙂
Oh! I am so sad. Great story. So much in so few words.
Thank you, Judith. It was rather sad, but somehow that veranda took me in that direction. Funny how these prompts tweak something in our brains. 🙂
I said this on another blog last week: I do love a ghost story. You did a good job setting up the ending – I didn’t expect it, but in hindsight, it makes perfect sense.
Thank you, Sonya. I hadn’t done a ghost story on these challenges until now, so I thought I’d have a go. 🙂
Great rhythm! 😀
Thank you, Taygibay! 🙂
Dear Millie, Great story and yes, it is sad – but it is well written anyway! Good job! Nan 🙂
Thanks Nan. I suppose we could say it was quite the opposite to your lovely, funny little tale. I suppose we just have to go with the direction our minds take us when we look at the prompt. I just fancied trying out something ‘ghosty’!
I do love your flash fiction. Dare I say hauntingly good? Gosh, the bad Dad puns just slip out. I did love the surprise ending. So unexpected.
Thanks, Amanda! Great phrase, ‘hauntingly good’. Love it! 🙂
Great story but what a horrible twist! Poor Abigail! It’s an interesting take on the photo though; I certainly didn’t expect it!
I wasn’t feeling like writing a jokey thing that day, Scribbley – and I hadn’t done a ghosty story on any of the challenges. I agee, it was just a bit sad. 😉
Oh so many things not said in this little tale that send my thoughts in the most sinister ways..
I had in mind nothing more sinister than the trip down the stairs but I can see how a few aspects of it could be interpreted differently. Thanks for commenting, Bjorn.
Such a haunted story, in so many ways. Beautiful and bittersweet.
I agree with the bittersweet. A child ghost is aways so much more poignant than an adult one. (Not that I’ve ever met either, of ccourse. Haha!) Thank you for liking it! 🙂
That’s so sad. Not only because she died, but because she preferred it in the cemetery after she felt Daddy didn’t love her any more 😦
Great story, though!
It’s funny how we all interpret things differently. I had intended to mean she liked being in the house, as a ghost,
better than being in the cemetery. Thanks for the interesting alternative, Ali 🙂
Ah yes, it’s down to the reading of the last sentence (“here”). That’s the beauty of only 100 words and lots of different people reading 🙂
Very true. 🙂
Wow Millie, I like this A LOT! It gave me the chills. I can totally see a book written narrated by this little girl.
That’s a really nice comment, PJ (or is it Joy?). It isn’t a pleasant thought, is it? I somehow find the idea of a child ghost more cilling than that of an adult. I think it’s because it’s so dreadfully sad. I’ll just have to do something happy next week to make up for it. Thank you for liking it. 🙂
PJ is perfect Millie. I agree, it is more chilling since it is a child but certainly could make interesting material for a book!
Well, I certainly agree, and I’d set it in the Deep South. I have one book to finish to complete my trilogy then I’ll have a think about what to do next. I had a similar conversation about my ‘Druid Path’ post two weeks ago. I’d like to develop that one, too. I really wish I were forty years younger! Thanks again, PJ. 🙂
I wish I were 40 years younger too! (But with 20-20 hindsight) LOL!
Very sad one this week, but well done.
Thank you Sandra. I’ll try to do something cheerful next time – depending on how the the prompt grabs me, of course. 🙂
Dear Millie,
I loved the last two lines that revealed why Daddy had “taken his love away.” However I was a bit thrown by his calling to her. Was he aware of her ghost? All in all a well told, haunting story.
Shalom.
Rochelle
It’s funny how different peolpe have interpreted my tale, Rochelle. I’ve a feeling that you have read it as Abigail being a ghost throughout the story. I had intended the fall down the stairs, in her haste to get to Daddy, to have killed her. She only ‘haunts’ the house because she preferred to be there than in the little cemetery. I’ll obviously have to make things a bit clearer next time. 🙂 Thank you so much for commenting. 🙂
Aye there’s the rub of a hundred words. Sometimes a wide space between the time frame works.
I was having trouble with this one, although I liked the story, I couldn’t quite grasp it. Glad to have found this comment.
Yes, I’ll definitely have to explain better next time. As Rochelle says, I think it’s a question of making the time scale clearer. Hope my comment helped. 🙂
It did and I look forward to your next contribution.
Thank you!
Wow–you didn’t pull any punches with this one. I loved it! That new older sibling feeling is so familiar and becomes more heartbreaking with her fall.
Thanks, Emily! I’m glad you ‘got it’. I know the story’s caused some confusion with a few people. 🙂
I wasn’t expecting that ending. Even though sad, it was so well done, Millie. I could see her in my mind. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thank you, Suzanne. I’m glad you liked it. It was a piece that took people in different ways – confusing a few, I think. 🙂
Such a tragic story, but it’s good that Abigail continues on – even if in ghostly form. Poor Daddy. How will he ever recover? I like the tone and feel of this story – well told.
Thanks for commenting, Margaret. I appreciate it. It was a tragic story this week. I’ll just have to hope that next week’s prompt inspires me to write a happy one!