It’s A Man Thing – Mondays Finish the Story

It’s Monday again, the day for Barbara Beacham’s excellent flash fiction challenge, Mondays Finish the Story. This asks that we write a piece of fiction in 100-150 words from the photo and first word prompt provided by our host.

If you fancy having a go at this, click on the link above to get the instructions on how to post and follow the link to other entries.

If you’d just like to view some of the other entries, click the link here.

Here is this week’s photo . . .

2015-02-09-bw-beacham

. . . and this is my story for this week, including the first line prompt:

Dropping her line into Fool’s Lake, she patiently waited for something to bite.

‘Girls’re useless at fishin’. Fifteen-year old David Mullard sniggered at his sister’s outraged face, touching the toe of his boot to her empty bucket. ‘Tha’s been out ’ere all mornin’ an’ bucket’s nowt init yet.’

Brenda’s smouldering eyes fixed on her puny twin, who’d been annoying her for the past hour. ‘Push off afore I count t’ three, or I’ll smash yer ’ead in!’

David considered the matter, deciding that his brawny sister would have no problem bashing his head to a pulp against the jetty. He backed up a few yards.

‘Wait till a tell yer fancyman ’ow daft y’ look in them fishin’ togs. ’Es waitin’ for yer back at ’ouse.

‘What!’ Brenda shrieked, tossing down her rod. ‘Why dint  y’ tell us?’

‘Arh jus’ did,’ David said, grinning as he watched her retreating back. He picked up the expensive rod. ‘Now fer a bit o’ man fishin’.’

Word Count: 150

*

I’ve attempted a Yorkshire dialect this week, with all it’s dropped letters and old-fashioned sounding words like thee and thou – or abbreviations of them. In speech, some words are just missed out altogether, the meaning of the sentence left to the reader/listener’s powers of deduction (or imagination!).

The dialect contains many words derived from the Norse – a reminder of the time between the 9th and 10th centuries when Yorkshire was a part of the Danelaw, initiated in the late 9th century by Alfred the Great. My very favourite person!

mondays-finish-the-story

About milliethom

I am a reader and writer of historical fiction with a keen interest in the Earth's history and all it involves, both physically and socially. I like nothing better than to be outdoors, especially in faraway places, and baking is something I do when my eyes need respite from my computer screen.
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26 Responses to It’s A Man Thing – Mondays Finish the Story

  1. afairymind says:

    Great use of dialect, Millie. I bet Brenda could prove that girls can be just as good at fishing as boys if she wanted to!

  2. babso2you says:

    Well done Millie! I would never have gotten the dialect right, and I admire your command of it! It was perfection! Thank you for participating in this week’s challenge! See you next week? 🙂 Be well… ^..^

  3. Love the dialect!! the first place I ever visited traveling to UK many years ago. Great story too:)

    • milliethom says:

      Thank you for that lovely comment. I think the very broad Yorkshire dialect only survives today in very rural areas. I love the sound of it – but then, I’m fascinated by all dialects. My husband’s a Yorkshireman and traces of the dialect only slip out occasionally. Hope you enjoyed your visit to what all Yorkshire people insist is ‘God’s own county.’ Big headed lot! Haha. 🙂

  4. I of July says:

    love it… somehow reminded me of summer I once spent in Harrogate… I like dialogue but was never good at phonetics – this kinda proves G.B. Shaw wrong because it matters when done its done right, impact felt 🙂

    • milliethom says:

      Fancy you having been to Harrogate. Did you visit Betty’s – the famous old tea shop? I love Betty’s, although I don’t much like the queues down the street! There’s one in York as well. Thank you for liking my Yorkshire dialect. I’m from the other side of the Pennines myself! 🙂
      I’m going to use that lovely word coterminous in my Word post later this. I loved the way you used it in your poem. 🙂

  5. sonya says:

    I love the use of dialect. It adds so much to the story.

  6. draliman says:

    Ay up, lass! It’s the week for dialects 🙂
    Great story and I enjoyed the dialogue!

  7. Susan Langer says:

    Liked your story and your dialect. 🙂

  8. This is wonderful Millie! I am not familar with this dialect but as far as I could tell it was perfect! Smart brother. 🙂

    • milliethom says:

      My first teacing job in 1968 was in a rural Yorkshire. It took me a while to fully understand the dialect but I came to love it. Fortunately, I didn’t pick it up myself! 🙂

      • When I was reading it I didn’t recognize it as being a dialect or accent here in the United States. I assumed it was probably British. I thought it came across very well. (I did try to pronounce it myself but I doubt I did it any justice! lol!)

  9. I enjoyed your tale tellin’ there Millie, man fishin’ gotta be tha only way with them girls outa the way.

  10. penshift says:

    I could hear the yorkshire lilt while reading. Now I want to go wandering north again.

  11. John Yeo says:

    An exellent brilliantly unusual take on the prompt ~ You actually had me in Yorkshire there, with Fred’s famous commentating style ~ Well done Millie

  12. I agree, Millie, that was a clever use of dialect. Very humorous story. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne

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